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gruyere and sharp cheddar mac + cheese with a panko parmesan crust

once upon a time there was a girl that loved to cook. she would follow recipes to a “t” , clean the kitchen and dishes as she cooked and always wrote down the exact measurements of her own recipe creations so that others could follow her recipes to a “t”…

unfortunately, i dont know that girl. we have never met. i like to change recipes as i go, even if it is the first time i am trying a recipe out. u remember that cartoon with the tazmanian devil? thats me in the kitchen. ask daniel, he knows. im not so good at the clean-as-you-go thing, rather, i prefer to get the kitchen as messy as possible while i cook, focusing only on deciding what ingredients to add and how much, especially when i am cooking from my heart and not a cookbook. the only thing i have in common with the above mentioned girl is my love of cooking. its what i turn to when im feeling stressed or unhappy. somehow, putting all the separate ingredients together to create something always soothes and calms me. i sometimes think that it is especially calming when other aspects of my life feel out of control and out of my hands. with cooking, i usually know what the outcome will be, and that i alone have control over the end result, and that it will be delicious. especially with foods that i have made 100 times, like macaroni and cheese. macaroni is the ultimate comfort food to me- creamy + cheesy + golden brown crust= my happy place. between the stick of butter, and the whole milk and the ungodly (yet delicious) amounts of cheese, this is obviously not something to be made every week. otherwise, you will need to invest in some elastic waist pants and skirts. but it is a delicious treat every once in awhile.

gruyere and sharp cheddar mac + cheese with a panko and parm crust

4 cups shredded sharp cheddar

1-2 cups shredded gruyere cheese ( its an aged swiss cheese, i get it @ trader joes)

5 cups whole milk

1 stick butter

1/4 cup flour

1 yellow onion, small dice

1 lb elbow noodles, cooked al dente and drained

salt + pepper to taste

a pinch or 2 of cayenne (optional)

topping

1 cup panko breadcrumbs

2T melted butter

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

pinch or 2 of salt

mix all together and set aside

just a warning- this makes a big. ass. amount. of macaroni and cheese. you could easily cut the recipe in half, like i usually do if its just the 2 of us, and it will be plenty for dinner and then a yummy lunch the next day.

preheat the oven to 375. get a big pot of water going on high heat, covered. when that boils add the entire lb. of pasta and just cook til al dente since it will continue to cook in the oven. start on the sauce as soon as you turn the water on.

heat a large pot over medium heat and drop in the stick of butter. once that is mostly melted, drop in the diced yellow onions and a pinch of salt and pepper. stir and cook until softened, about 6 minutes. add the flour and stir constantly, about 2 minutes. you are cooking the raw taste out of the flour, so dont skip this step. slowly slowly pour in the milk, whisking as you pour. pour a cup(ish) in and whisk and let it become incorporated with the roux (flour and butter cooked together) and then add another cup until it is all in. dont leave the stove to change a diaper or answer the phone! if the bechamel  (butter + flour+ milk cooked together) burns you are effed and will have to start over. no fun. once it has thickened and coats the back of a spoon when you dip it in, turn heat off and add 2 cups of the cheddar, whisking to keep it nice and smooth. once that is incorporated, add the rest of the cheddar and gruyere and  whisk. taste cheese sauce and add salt and pepper to taste. add cayenne now if you are adding it. your noodles should be al dente and drained and waiting for you to add the cheese sauce. add sauce to the noodles and stir well, coating all the pasta with the cheesy goodness.  pour into a large baking dish, top with all the crumb topping, then bake for 20 minutes. if the topping isnt a lovely golden color at this time, turn oven on to broil and broil just until a deep toasty brown. again, do not leave to answer the door or open a beer! this will burn faster than you can say “oh shit!” and then you’ll be sorry.

let set and cool for 10 minutes. be patient. now is the time to crack open that bottle of wine or beer and reward yourself for the awesome dinner you are about to have. serve with broccoli or a salad or some other green vegetable thing so you can kid yourself into thinking that makes this dinner healthy.